.Editor's Note: The complying with is the content of a character coming from Trip 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reassessing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't created significantly regarding specifics of this mission during the course of the month I've been actually here, mainly for 2 explanations: the first being that there has actually been extremely little opportunity to accomplish that kind of composing, and secondly due to the fact that I'm not sure how comfy I am actually sharing ideas I show to family and friends along with the rest of the world.Effectively, definitely the planet altered today. What I point out or even do is actually incredibly small contrasted to the value of what occurred to our country today when it was attacked by ... through whom? Terrorists is all we know, I presume. Challenging to understand at whom to drive our anger and anxiety ...I had actually merely ended up a number of tasks today, the absolute most time-consuming being the physical exams of all workers members. In a private talk following that, the trip cosmetic surgeon informed me they were actually possessing a quite bad day on the ground. I had no concept ...He illustrated the circumstance to me as greatest he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually amazed, after that frightened. My 1st thought and feelings was that this wasn't a true discussion, that I was still paying attention to among my Tom Clancy tapes. It only really did not seem achievable on this scale in our nation. I couldn't also envision the particulars, even just before the headlines of further damage started coming in.Vladimir visited rather rapidly, noticing that one thing extremely significant was actually being explained. I swayed Michael into the module at the same time. They were actually additionally astonished and also stunned. After we authorized off, I attempted to explain to Vladimir as well as Michael as finest I can the potential immensity of the show of horror in midtown New york and at the Pentagon. They clearly recognized and also were actually very sympathetic.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the pc to see where over the globe we were and also observed that our experts were actually happening southeast away from Canada and would certainly be actually skipping New England in a couple of minutes. I zipped around the terminal till I located a window that will offer me a viewpoint of NYC and also snatched the nearby cam. It took place to be a camera, and I was actually appearing southern coming from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to have a strange flower to it at the foundation of the column that was actually streaming south of the metropolitan area. After reading among the news articles our experts only obtained, I believe our company were looking at NY around the moment of, or even not long after, the crash of the 2nd high rise. How awful ...I panned the electronic camera the whole time the East Coast to the south to see if I could possibly observe some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, but nothing showed up.It was actually fairly tough to think about job after that, though our team had some to do, but on the upcoming orbit our team went across the United States additional southern. All three people were operating 1 or 2 cams to make an effort to acquire sights of New york city or even Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, however no certain source may be viewed. Everything looked extraordinary coming from two to three hundred miles away. I can not envision the terrible settings on the ground.Aside from the psychological impact of our country being actually tackled and thousands of our consumers as well as possibly some close friends being killed, the most difficult sensation being where I am is among solitude.Upcoming day ... I suspect the fatigue and emotional tension got the very best of me. I couldn't keep awake and continue to create. Today was actually still complicated, but our experts began getting more relevant information, plus we had the honor of chatting straight with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, that assured our company that the ground groups would certainly continue to work and ensure our security, as well as the risk-free operation of the Station. Our experts likewise talked to our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who included that the partners in the System are actually all totally dedicated to proceeding secure operations as well as support. These were actually never concerns for me. I understand all these folks! The ground staffs have been very supportive, really understanding of the effect of the updates, and also have actually tried to become as practical as feasible. They have all been extremely qualified and also focused though I can't imagine the interruption of this particular sort of news can be found in and the thought that government properties could be in jeopardy. They never bypassed a beat, even when relocating control centers. And also a team of senior workers as well as friends gave our company a fairly comprehensive instruction on what was recognized as well as what was actually being actually done in the government as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually extremely helpful as well as kind of all of them to do in the middle of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has additionally been actually supporting and also handy, making an effort to uplink news articles when our own assets were unusable, and also stating kind words ...My crewmates have been actually terrific, also. They understand it's been actually a challenging day for me and also the individuals on the ground, and they have actually attempted to be as even keeled as well as handy as feasible. Michael also corrected me my favorite Borscht soup for dinner. And they provide me loads of room to believe when I required it. They are incredibly considerate as well as certainly shocked at whoever would perform this.I recognize so many folks in Washington, many individuals who take a trip to DC as well as NYC, many who are actually aviators, that I felt certain I would obtain at the very least a handful of pieces of bad news over the next few times. I received the initial one today when I learned that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that hit the Government was Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I found Chic throughout plebe summertime when our experts were in the D&B all together, as well as we possessed lots of courses together. I can not picture what he has to of gone through, and also right now I listen to that he might have increased additionally than our experts can easily also consider through potentially preventing his airplane coming from being the one to deal with the White Residence. What a terrible reduction, however I make sure Chic was actually combating fearlessly to the end. And also tears don't stream the exact same precede ...It is actually difficult to illustrate how it feels to be the only United States totally off the world at once such as this. The sensation that I ought to be there with every one of you, dealing with this, aiding in some way, is actually difficult. I know that our company are on the limit (or beyond) of a terrible change in the history of the planet. Many things are going to never ever coincide again after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the thousands as well as hundreds of folks directly affected through these ghastly acts of terrorism, but perhaps for everyone. We will certainly locate ourselves experiencing in a different way about loads of points, including perhaps space expedition, however.It's awful to observe smoke putting from cuts in your very own nation coming from such an excellent viewpoint. The duality of getting on a spacecraft dedicated to boosting daily life on the planet as well as enjoying life being actually destroyed through such conscious, terrible actions is actually jolting to the psyche, no matter that you are. And the expertise that everything will be actually different than when we launched by the time our experts land is actually a little disconcerting. I believe in our country as well as in our leadership that our team are going to carry out every thing achievable to much better protect her and our households, and to bring justice wherefore has been done. I possess self-confidence that the excellent folks at NASA will definitely perform whatever required to proceed our purpose carefully and also return us securely at the right time. As well as I overlook all of you quite. I can't be there with you face to face, and also our team possess a very long way to visit accomplish our purpose, however be actually certain that my center is with you, as well as understand you are in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the final character ... Thankfully, it's been actually an occupied full week up right here. And also to show that, like our nation, our company are actually continuing on our designated course with company customarily (as long as possible). Tonight the most up to date addition to the place, the Russian Docking Area will certainly be actually launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (United States opportunity), it will definitely dock with our company, at a port certainly never made use of prior to on the low point side of the Solution Element. This brand new module will definitely offer our team an additional spot to dock a Progression or even Soyuz as well as are going to supply a large airlock along with 2 useable hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which our team will definitely do a few of just before our experts get back.The concern before in dealing with recently was insufficient headlines. The concern now is excessive. It came at one time when e-mail was repaired, and also there is actually inadequate opportunity to review it all! Plus it's too hard to manage all of it at the same time. Yet I cherish receiving it, and I definitely enjoy the excellent characters of support and companionship I am acquiring.Our experts are actually doing well aboard, receiving our job done, and also referring to things. Last night our company had a lengthy discussion over dinner regarding the importance of these occasions, the achievable actions to follow, and also what must be carried out. After supper, Michael resolved informing me that every email he acquired coming from pals in Russia said exclusively to inform me exactly how regretful they were actually that this happened, extending their acknowledgements, and asking just how I was actually doing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Area. (Both the Russian as well as the English words are much extremely long to verbalize conveniently.) Incredibly type folks.For the last two days, the Russian MCC has sufficed to transmit online broadcasts of radio updates regarding the event as well as connected tales, to make certain I was properly notified. Every expert that has actually started free throw line to cover a procedure or a complication has at some aspect prolonged hellos to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that because of the wedding day of remembrance in the United States, all the time folks had been delivering florals as well as lining all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, as well as this evening they were igniting candlesticks in the street outside the embassy. How the globe has transformed.Folks all over appear to acknowledge the senselessness and also horror in this strike. And also the remarkable reduction. Moscow has managed these type of troubles in the last handful of years along with house and also train bombings, so they are actually as distressed to do away with this danger as our company are actually. But the bottom collection is actually that there are great folks anywhere that want to reside in calmness. I read through that a little one inquired, "The United States is therefore good to other countries, our experts regularly help everyone, how can they loathe our company a lot?".I wish the instance of participation and also depend on that this spacecraft plus all people in the program demonstrate daily are going to someday motivate the rest of the globe to operate similarly. They must!However, our experts will not be actually flighting over the United States during the time individuals are lighting candlesticks. Don't know if our experts might observe that in any case. Our experts did, nevertheless, find a very unusual as well as stunning sight a few moments ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. Our company were eclipsing it and also it came into view about three minutes after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sun hit our terminal, so it was actually still at night. It appeared like a big comet with a directly, wide tail silhouetted versus the black world under. Regardless of some bad lights for a while as the sunlight struck our window at a low viewpoint, I handled some video of it as to begin with our team passed the rocket, and afterwards viewed it start to mesmerize as it acquired height and velocity. I filmed till major engine deadline and booster splitting up developed equally as we came close to sunrise on the Mountain ranges. An unforgettable view in a remarkable full week ...Lifestyle takes place, even in space. We're listed below to keep ... Frank.